Sometimes I long for that intimacy that someone else has..
Intimacy. A very intimate word that soothes a broken heart, or perhaps a lonely one.
Working in a telecommunication company, I have the privilege of looking at many things. Accounts, profiles, systems..
Out of curiousity, I sneaked into the SMS system and found out something that cuts my heart like a razor blade. It left me feeling puzzled on why some people get so much attention, and some get nothing at all.
What I found out was my so-called office crush has been exchanging text messages with my friend. We are all in the same office. Hence, we are all friends, belonging to the same circle. She knows I fancy him, but nothing more than that.
They are exhanging messages as I'm typing this, at 1:44am. 22 messages sent, so something is going on somewhere. Something fishy, something related to matters of the heart.
So, I feel this funny pang of sadness. Sad, because what does she have that I don't? Why is he messaging her when he rarely replies the messages I text him?
All this while I thought he is not the SMS person. All this while I licked my own wounds, consoled my fractured heart, believing there's nothing wrong with me. When now the true fact is, he is really not a SMS person only with me.
So, all this while he chose to ignore my messages, because he can. Because he knows I like him, but he has nothing for me except for some silly lust he has back in PD.
Now I feel used. Now I am angry for letting someone ripped me apart like he did. And I am not nice when I am pissed.
26 messages exchanged, and counting.
I swear on my life he will never see the good side of me, ever again...
