Calling All Angels

I wonder if people appreciate my existance.

I wonder if I were to go away, would my friends miss my company?

Would my son miss me terribly?

Would my husband cry the real tears and wish things were happier between us? Would he regret the days he spent out of the house, while I lay crying at home, out of loneliness and heartache?

Would he miss me, the silly woman who seem to like him, no matter what? The so-called secret admirer who steals glimpses of him, whenever she can, careful to not look too desperate?

Or would life be just the same, with or without me?

When I look around, no, I don't think the world would miss me much. I don't think my friends would break down and cry if I were to dissapear. I don't feel I am well-loved, not by anyone, not even my family.

So one day, out of frustration, if I decided to jump off the balcony; I should expect not to be missed. Not by anyone, not even my son.

Because sometimes when I think again, I don't even want to be me...